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Morning Devotion for the Season after Pentecost

July 7, 2023

Invitatory

Lord, open our lips.

And our mouth shall proclaim your praise.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son: and to the Holy Ghost;

As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be: world without end. Amen.

Reading: Acts 9:1-9

Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” He asked, “Who are you, Lord?” The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” The men who were traveling with him stood speechless because they heard the voice but saw no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. For three days he was without sight and neither ate nor drank.

Meditation – Peter Vanderveen

Conversion isn’t much talked about any more. It tends to raise eyebrows. For the word itself seems to trail along with it a suspicion of cultishness. If someone is described as “a convert” the implication is that this was an abrupt or rash change, and one not subject to rational discussion. Converts exhibit a dogmatic zeal. For they have found a new way, which, importantly, is – for them and for all – the only way. There’s no margin for difference or delay.

The story of Paul’s conversion, complete with the eventual change of his name, seems to follow suit: bright lights, a voice as if from heaven, physical disablement – these all portend a radical overturning. It would be a great moment in a graphic novel, pictorially full of wild energy: the storm of God raging as Saul lies prostrate on the ground. And this is what many readers take away from the text – the disruptive power of this confrontation.

What is less noticed, however, is that at the core of the event, the risen Jesus did not threaten or intimidate or even command anything. Instead, reminiscent of the “still small voice of calm,” he asked a humble question. It wasn’t vigorously pressed. It had no sneer. It was asked, rather, with a tone of bafflement.

When I was in high school I sang in a community choir, and one of the anthems we performed was a setting of this text. In concert, this was done in a vast basilica with a magnificent domed roof. The effect of the architecture was such that it was hard to locate from where in the church the choir was singing. It was as if the voices were coming both from nowhere and from all around. When, in the narration of the anthem, Jesus’ question arose, the four parts of the choir were divided into sixteen, and at different times and with no discernible pattern, voices from the chorus simply sang, “Why?” repeatedly and at length. It was as if the word itself were being patiently opened and laid bare. Implicit in it was “Why this anger?” “Why this persecution?” “Why this insistent violence?” By not naming these things explicitly, by simply asking “Why?” the question became more effective, more mysterious, more inviting.

I have never forgotten this experience. Nor have I forgotten that, at heart, and most truly, conversion in faith is the experience – maybe long in coming and continual – of something being quietly and perhaps imperceptibly opened. God has infinite patience and waits for us. Against all the commotion we make and all the vitriol with which we infect our attachments, God places just this soft question, “Why?”

Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy Name,

thy kingdom come,

thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

         as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

         but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,

         forever and ever. Amen.