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If you’re feeling the tug-of-war around smartphones for your kids, you’re not alone. Many of us are trying to hold a line by saying “not yet” to smartphones and social media for our kids, even when they see them everywhere. Jonathan Haidt calls this the “great rewiring of childhood,” and his research shows that early, unsupervised phone-based life can distort our kids’ attention, sleep, confidence and friendships. Listen to Jonathan Haidt on the TED Talk Daily Podcast.
While it is somewhat easier for parents of our younger students to commit to not giving their kids smartphones and social media, it’s a lot more difficult once kids are in the middle and senior grades. Parents have to make difficult decisions as their kids start to ask for smartphones and social media. Kids fear being left out of group chats and Snap streaks, and parents fear being the only holdouts.
But many families in our community are saying they do want to delay — and they are looking for support as to how to go about it. In a student survey done last year by Bialik’s School Social Workers, Bialik students said that social media can distract them from homework, lead to bullying, and be a bad influence on kids.
A recent poll in the UK found that almost half of young people would prefer a world without the internet and they would support a “digital curfew.” More than three-quarters said they “felt worse about themselves after using social media.”
If your child already has a smartphone, please know that there is a lot you can still do to keep them safe. As we heard from Katy Albert, our parent speaker and a Registered Behaviour Analyst, even if you think it is "too late to make changes," you can still reset the terms with your kids: you can remove apps, lock down the browser or step back to a dumb phone. Katy encouraged us to identify our family values and to use these as a guide to make choices around what you allow your children to do and where you set boundaries. As Katy advised: “You don't have to make it perfect to make it worthwhile."
Our Unplugged Bialik initiative — led by Bialik parents — aims to provide resources and open conversations with families in our community, as we educate ourselves together on these issues.
We also want to provide you with some smartphone alternatives to help you make choices. The good news is that many devices look like smartphones but are stripped of apps like TikTok and Snapchat and don’t permit internet free-for-alls. And a growing number of parents are opting for a Tin Can landline to keep their kids connected. If you’re a Tin Can pioneer, please let us know how it's going!
Feel free to speak to our parent ambassadors for each grade to find out more. Their email addresses are in the Bialik Parents Only section of the website, so don't hesitate to reach out.
To sign the Unplugged Bialik Pledge, click here>>
Co-Chairs Brie and Jeffrey Kimel and the Unplugged Bialik Parent Ambassadors
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