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May 9, 2025 | 11 Iyyar 5785 Candle Lighting in Miami 7:38 pm

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Dr. Carly Orshan with her Dissertation Defense Committee in March. From left to right: Dr. Lilia DiBello; Dr. Jill Farrel; Dr. Carly Orshan; Dr. Carter Winkle 

Our past CAJE chair Morrie Siegel, a former business owner who was trying to figure out what “business” CAJE is in, once told me: “Rabbi, CAJE is all about the talent! You are, in effect, running a talent agency / consulting bureau for Jewish education in Miami.”


Ever since, it changed the way I think about CAJE and what it does.


In order to make an outsized impact with our small staff, we have to be the best and bring the best to our Jewish educational settings.


We have to spot the trends and try to address them with our partners so Jewish education in Miami continues to thrive in these rapidly changing times.


We have to hire lifelong learners and encourage our staff to strategically steer this enormous community ship called Jewish education— one relationship, one program, one institution at a time.


The article below was written by DR. Carly Orshan, CAJE’s Senior Director of Strategic and Teen Initiatives.

 

That “Dr.” is no typo— Carly will be receiving her PhD this Sunday from Barry University in Curriculum and Instruction with a specialization in assessment evaluation and research.


We are enormously proud of her achievement and look forward to more wonderful accomplishments from Dr. Orshan in the future!

To wish Carly a “Mazal Tov,” please email her with your congratulations: and if you would like to make a donation in her honor, please click here.

What Netflix’s Adolescence Taught Me About Talking to Teens & Why Jewish Wisdom Shows Us a Way Forward

The new Netflix miniseries Adolescence is haunting.


It pulls no punches as it unpacks what it means to grow up today, where the line between online and offline is increasingly invisible, and increasingly dangerous.


As the show follows 13-year-old Jamie Miller, who is accused of a horrific act, it forces viewers to confront the social and emotional weight our kids carry.


As a parent, educator, and someone who works closely with hundreds of teens each year, it stuck with me.


But what stayed with me even more than the plot was the silence. The missed conversations. The too-late questions.


It is a reminder that we cannot wait for something to go wrong to open up conversations with our kids or grandkids. The time is now.

 

Start With Curiosity, Not Judgment


In the series, Jamie’s psychologist tells him, “What you think is more important to me than what is true.”


That one line is a roadmap for how we should be talking with the young people in our lives - especially about technology and social media.


When we lead with curiosity, when we create space for them to be heard rather than corrected, we build trust.


That trust is the foundation for our teens’ growth, safety, and accountability.

 

Jewish Wisdom for a Digital Age


Judaism has always offered frameworks for intentional living.


As we navigate the uncharted waters of raising teens in a digital age, these Jewish values are more relevant than ever:

  • Shmirat HaLashon (Guarding our Speech): A reminder to think before we post and make sure our words are necessary, truthful and kind.
  • Tzelem Elohim (Created in the Image of G!d): A call to see and treat others online with dignity and care as befitting human beings made in the Divine Image.
  • Hesed (Loving-Kindness): A challenge to use our platforms not for harm or comparison, but for justice and compassion.

 

The 24/6 Framework: A Digital Pause for the Soul


Perhaps one of the most powerful contributions to the modern conversation about screen-use is the ancient practice of Shabbat, reimagined by filmmaker and author Tiffany Shlain as a “Technology Shabbat,” a call to live with screens only 24/6.


One day a week, we are invited to pause. To unplug. To look each other in the eye. To hear our own breath. To reclaim our time and attention from the endless scroll.

 

This is not about rejecting technology; rather, it’s about creating sacred boundaries around it.


In my work with teens and families, I often see how young people are desperate for rest, even if they do not have the words for it.

 

A weekly digital pause, modeled by adults and embraced by families, can become an anchor in a sea of constant noise.


Shabbat offers us that anchor. It says: You are enough without being online. Your worth is not measured by your notifications.

 

Research Meets Reality


In my recent dissertation exploring Jewish teen mindfulness and digital engagement, teens expressed a deep yearning for presence and connection – that is, real connection, not virtual.

 

When given space to practice mindfulness, their emotional well-being and self-awareness increased, and they reported feeling more in control of their digital lives.


What we sometimes see as “screen addiction” is often a cry for something more grounding, more human, more sacred.

 

This research only confirms what Jewish tradition has taught for centuries: intention, reflection, and community matter. When we model this for our children and grandchildren, we give them tools to flourish. Not just online, but in life.

 

Introducing the Reflective Connection Framework™


In response to what I observed both in the field and in my research, I developed the Reflective Connection Framework™ a tool designed to help educators and adults engage Jewish teens in conversations that are emotionally grounded, spiritually rooted, and culturally relevant.


This approach invites: Presence over distraction. Listening over lecturing. Reflection over reaction.


Whether discussing antisemitism, identity, or digital life, this framework empowers adults to ask the right questions, notice what is unsaid, and cultivate meaningful connections that last.


To learn more about piloting the Reflective Connection Framework™ in your community or educational setting, please contact me at carlyorshan@caje-miami.org.

 

How We Move Forward

  1. Talk to your teens before you think they are ready. Believe me, they are ready.
  2. Ask open-ended questions. Not just “How was your day?” but “What did you see online today that makes you feel inspired? Confused? Upset?”
  3. Create digital pauses together. Whether it is Shabbat or a “no-phones dinner,” build small habits of disconnection from the phone so the whole family can connect in deeper ways without it.

 

Adolescence is not easy.

 

Let us help our teens write a different story. A story built on reflection, resilience, and real connection. We owe it to them. And we owe it to ourselves.

 

Reflection Prompt: For the Dinner Table or the Drive Home

Choose one of these questions to ask your child or grandchild:

  • What is one thing you saw online this week that made you feel something—anything?
  • Have you ever felt overwhelmed by what people expect from you on social media?
  • If you could create your own “Shabbat” from screens, what would that look like for you?

 

Resources for Families and Educators

 

© 2025 Carly Orshan. Reflective Connection Framework™. All rights reserved.

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WORDS OF WISDOM

This Dvar Torah was edited from one written by Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z”l, Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth from 1991 to 2013.

Made with Love

Photo by Nina Strehl on Unsplash

Kedoshim contains the two great love commands of the Torah.

 

The first is, “Love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord(Lev. 19:18). Rabbi Akiva called this “the great principle of the Torah.”

 

The second is no less challenging: “The stranger living among you must be treated as your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were strangers in Egypt. I am the Lord your God(Lev. 19:34).

 

These are extraordinary commands.

 

Many civilizations contain variants of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do to you,” or in the negative form attributed to Hillel (sometimes called the Silver Rule), “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah. The rest is commentary; go and learn.( Shabbat 31a).

 

But these are rules of reciprocity, not love. We observe them because bad things will happen to us if we don’t. They are the basic ground-rules of life in a group.

 

Love is something altogether different and more demanding.

 

That makes these two commandments a revolution in the moral life...

 

Nowhere else in all Tanach are we commanded to love our neighbor...

 

And why does the command to love your neighbor as yourself appear in this chapter containing such laws as, “Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material”?

 

These are chukim, decrees, usually thought of as commands that have no reason, at any rate none that we can understand.

 

What have they to do with the self-evidently moral commands of the love of neighbor and stranger? Is the chapter simply an assemblage of disconnected commands, or is there a single unifying strand to it?

 

Judaism…contains not one perspective but three.

 

There is the prophetic understanding of morality, the priestly perspective and the wisdom point of view.

 

Prophetic morality looks at the quality of relationships within a society, between us and God and between us and our fellow humans

 

With only three exceptions, they do not speak about love in a moral context, that is, vis-à-vis our relationships with one another.

 

The exceptions are Amos’ remark, “Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts” (Amos 5:15); Micah’s famous statement, “Act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God” (Mic. 6:8) and Zechariah’s “Therefore love truth and peace” (Zech. 8:19).

 

Note that all three are about loving abstractions – good, mercy and truth. They are not about people…

 

The wisdom voice in Torah and Tanach looks at character and consequence. If you live virtuously, then by and large things will go well for you.

 

A good example is Psalm 1. The person occupied with Torah will be “like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers...”

 

But the wisdom literature does not speak of loving your neighbor or the stranger.

 

The moral vision of the Priest that makes him different from the Prophet and Sage lies in the key word kadosh, “holy.”

 

Someone or something that is holy is set apart, distinctive, different.

 

The Priests were set apart from the rest of the nation. They had no share in the land. They did not work as laborers in the field.

 

Their sphere was the Tabernacle or Temple. They lived at the epicenter of the Divine Presence.

 

As God’s ministers they had to keep themselves pure and avoid any form of defilement. They were holy.

 

Until now, holiness has been seen as a special attribute of the Priest.

 

But there was a hint at the Giving of the Torah that it concerned not just the children of Aaron but the people as a whole: “You shall be to Me a Kingdom of Priests and a holy nation(Ex. 19:6).

 

Our chapter now spells this out for the first time. “The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy(Lev. 19:1-2).

 

This tells us that the ethic of holiness applies not just to Priests but to the entire nation.

 

We, too, must to be distinctive, set apart, held to a higher standard.

 

What in practice does this mean?

 

A decisive clue is provided by another key word used throughout Tanach in relation to the Kohen, namely the verb b-d-l: to divide, set apart, separate, distinguish.

 

That is what a Priest does. His task is “to distinguish between the sacred and the secular” (Lev. 10:10), and “to distinguish between the unclean and the clean” (Lev. 11:47).

 

This is what God does for His people: “You shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and I have distinguished you [va-avdil] from other peoples to be Mine.” (Lev. 20:26)

 

There is one other place in which b-d-l is a key word, namely the story of creation in Genesis 1, where it occurs five times...


Genesis 1 defines the priestly moral imagination.

 

Unlike the Prophet, the Priest is not looking at society. He is not, like the wisdom figure, looking for happiness. He is looking at creation as the work of God.

 

He knows that everything has its place: sacred and profane, permitted and forbidden.

 

It is his task to make these distinctions and teach them to others...

 

Above all the ethic of holiness tells us that every human being is made in the image and likeness of God. God made each of us in love.

 

Therefore, if we seek to imitate God – “Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy” – we too must love humanity, and not in the abstract but in the concrete form of the neighbor and the stranger.

 

The ethic of holiness is based on the vision of creation-as-God’s-work-of-love. This vision sees all human beings – ourselves, our neighbor and the stranger – as in the image of God, and that is why we are to love our neighbor and the stranger as ourself.

Join CAJE's Adult Learning for more Jewish thought on Love with our upcoming course: Summer Loving: Song of Songs and Judaism's Oldest Romance with Rabbi Jason Cook


Tuesdays, 12:00-1:30pm (ET) | June 10, 17, 24 Learn More & Register

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